Just have to say a few words here, since I inadvertantly helped get this thread started.  Let me say first that we family-bedded both of our children, and though there were some very tough nights (more than I like to admit sometimes) I can't imagine doing it any other way.  We were genuinely sad to see our youngest eagerly go off to her own bed.  I think that one of the reasons we were able to stick with it when the babies, especially the first, were waking almost every hour during some periods, was the great support I had from fellow LLL friends.  I think that families need support for co-sleeping just as they do for breastfeeding and for similar reasons - we do not live in a culture which supports this choice and in fact, it is often labeled dangerous.  Unfortunately, many moms go to a meeting or two or attend a BF class and hear about how wonderful and normal co-sleeping and/or the family bed is.  They have their babies, but when they run into problems or have questions, many go to their doctors, not back to LLL or their class instructors.  The doctor may be in a very awkward position.  The mom may sound very desperate for a solution to what she now sees as a major problem.  The doctor may not be enthusiastic about supporting co-sleeping for many reasons.  Lack of knowledge about co-sleeping is probably even more prevalent than lack of knowledge about breastfeeding.  All of the official stuff coming down from various professional organizations sounds very ominous.  A doctor may fear that if co-sleeping is supported and something should happen to the baby, a lawsuit would surely be forthcoming, especially in light of the recent publicity which warns against the practice.  Most physicians, and many people, make a clear distinction between breastfeeding and co-sleeping and may strongly support the former and not the latter.  Docs want to solve the problem.  Usually the counseling I do related to this issue takes a long time to talk out.  So what does the doc who would really like to help a mom preserve a co-sleeping relationship do?  I don't really have an answer. Spend whatever time it takes to really get at the root of the problem?  Refer out to a co-sleeping support group???  LLL has a lot of family bedders - perhaps the doc could relate it to breastfeeding(which it often is) and suggest the mom talk with a Leader or go to a meeting (of course, there's the mixing agendas issue you can run into here.)  Or there is always the LC - but how would you charge such a referral?  And not all LLLL or LC's embrace the concept either.

Once again, education and support are the keys, but I think it will take a long time.  And to tell a mom that she really should have her child "in arms" for several years.........   That is the way it ends up for many of us and we finally "get it" - but how do we put this to an expectant couple?  In my breastfeeding class I touch on a lot of these concepts, emphasizing that if this is the way it goes for you (not that this is the way you should or have to do it) - baby wanting to be in arms, co-sleeping, baby not sleeping through the nights - that it is very normal, biologically speaking the way it has been since the beginning of time.  I tell them that some babies will adjust to our manipulations more easily than others, but that the ones that don't should not be considered "bad" - they are, in fact, very normal.  But I do sort of "cushion" it by saying that every baby and every family is different and they will ultimately find a way that feels right in their hearts. The information is sprinkled throughout the class, little seeds that I hope will take root.  But the truth is, I hear from very few of them postpartum and probably only a few go to LLL.  The rest are most likely turning to their HCPs for information and support.
It is my hope that there will be more supportive research and dialogue in the professional arena so that nurses and physicians can be comfortable and even creative in helping co-sleeping families.

One of the best things would be for everyone to "come out of the closet" and admit to friends, family, and doctors that their babies and children are, in fact, sleeping with them a lot more than anyone thinks.  It happened with potty training - not too many people are expecting young babies to be out of diapers, in fact a whole industry has sprung up to support toddlers in diapers and then children in trainers.  Perhaps the same will happen with sleeping issues, too - sleeping through the night as well as co-sleeping.  If someone could find a way to make money on it, it probably would.
Warmly,
Sharon Knorr, BSMT, ASCP, IBCLC
Newark, NY (near Rochester on Lake Ontario)
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