All right already, I'll try my hand at this.  Peer pressure, you know...

There once was a granny named Zealot
From the roof "Nursing's Great" she did yell it.
ODH said "Pipe down!"
Deep in guilt they did drown,
While Granny Z from Lactnet will still tell it.

(*ODH is the state health department.  Long story...)

There was a fine doctor named Chet
Said "Hersheys will fix all - you bet!"
Carrie took his advice
Found the candy bowl twice
"Chocolate nipples" she said while she 'et!

Linda Smith, a.k.a. Granny Zealot
still shouting in Ohio