Trish -
I was delighted to see you're a La Leche League Leader. Because my first
thought, through your long post about a stalwart mother and "opening
blossom" child, was that you talk with LLLL Darillyn Starr (whose child with
oral aversion started nursing at a year), and my second thought was that you
go to LLL meetings. With an almost-2-year-old, meetings would be a chance
for you to *talk* to your child about what he sees there. As you know, lots
of nearly-weaned kids nurse at meetings just because of what they see going
on there. With your "intellectually mature" child, you can explain to him
what he sees there, and maybe the two of you can make a point of getting
good, close looks at little babies and bigger babies, and seeing how much
they enjoy it.
At home, in more detail, you could even tell him *you'd* love for him to
nurse, and see if he's willing to try it, even 2-second silly-style, for
*you*. Once he began to enjoy it, of course, he'd do it for himself. But
mothers have the right to request kisses and hugs just because they want
them; they certainly have the right to request nursing just because they
want it.
Maybe you need to start very small. The two of you could practice together
on your thumbs, especially in the tub or in bed. You have a milk supply,
right? Once he can suck his own thumb and then on your thumb, you could
both practice thumb-feeding on your thumb with an SNS, to help him learn a
suck-swallow pattern.
From there, you could both suck liquids from a little-teat bottle, then a
larger-teat bottle. Darillyn used her child's bottle teat over her own
nipple with an SNS, then a nipple shield, then bare skin. There really is
full-face-wide-mouth involvement in breastfeeding, and the jump from never
sucking to that wide-open-mouth acceptance of a big, fat, squishy, warm
breast is a mighty big jump. He might feel far more comfortable starting
with his own tiny thumb.
I think, since he's old enough for words and "analytical" mimicry, I'd rely
on those two tools; I'd absolutely make myself one of the "suckers" he can
mimic, and maybe I'd see if he would do it as a gift to me. If he became an
occasional unconscious thumb-sucker I'd be delighted!
The oldest "born again nursling" I've read about was something like 26
months old - don't remember exactly. It was a story on-line on a
no-longer-existing site. Older brother had never latched, 6-month-old
younger brother was nursing. One night, older brother made sucking motions
toward his mother when her blouse was open after nursing. "Oh," she said,
"You don't want to nurse. You never wanted to nurse." More sucking
motions. She sat on the bed with him, adjusted his unaccustomed big body,
and they nursed! It took an hour, she said, because he kept letting go to
say, "Mmmmm."
Yes, it can happen. I think all your instincts in both directions are good
ones - don't push, don't give up. Enjoy his skin, let him enjoy yours...
and use that growing brain of his to make it a *joint* project. And
remember, the youngest that humans are ordinarily ready to wean is around 2
1/2. You have time.
With best wishes and hugs to you both,
--
Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC, LLLL Ithaca, NY
www.wiessinger.baka.com
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