Margery - wow, a lot of issues here. I would try to find out why
this mom wants to get pregnant again right away. Biological clock
probs? Difficulty in getting preg? "Replacing" syndrome (recent
bereavement or Jewish post-Holocaust phenomenon)? Something else?
If it is something like this, I would gently try to help her make
a truly informed choice, reminding her that the present baby
should be seen as a person, an individual who deserves the best
(BM), who has babytime coming to him (before becoming the "older
brother"), etc. blabla. Of course, if it is for a "murkier"
reason (such as trying to hold on to a shaky marriage), I would
take a different tack, probably a bit blunter. Dutch Auntie?
Once I get started on the "babytime" issue, I could go on for
quite a while, but usually end up stepping on toes.....sigh.
Judy Knopf in Beer Sheva, Israel  [log in to unmask]