In a message dated 8/8/0 5:16:02 PM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< Perhaps there are other ways to give information without yourself coming
across as beyond "normal." (what others will think) I try to say things
non-judgementally and in a soft tone of voice. I also say things like "I am
going to give you some information and then you'll have to make your own
decision about what to do."
Lastly, I see that nowdays many women just want labor pain free and easy.
They will "try" breastfeeding and if it's easy or fun, they'll continue.
Otherwise, they don't care enough and go to the bottle happily. The
generation that wanted childbirth all natural and to breastfeed exclusively
seem to be the grandmothers now.
I think it is important that women be given research based information so
they can make their own informed choices, but I also think that we have to
give that information in a way that they will actually "hear" us.
>>
Kathy,
I do not know the answer to this problem, but in general (having experience
facilitating one of those volunteer support groups and a homebirth support
group, as well as having taught in a hospital and observed many other
classes), I find that most people teaching are doing just as you say. They
are non-judgemental in approach, try to be balanced and offer information
which the students can hear. As I see it, we still have a culture of drugged,
artificially fed and detached babies. So, are the women who can hear us,
hearing us and the rationalizing away all that they have heard? Is it
possible that the few families who are angry at what they hear would not have
birthed normally or bf anyway, but that by speaking the truth a larger number
of mothers will end up doing so? This is all very hard to gauge.
I now tell parents something like this---"In the past as educators, we
spoke of the advantages of bf, b/c we did not have enough research to speak
accurately of the risks of artificial feeding. We saw breastfeeding as a
choice which offered some benefits over A/F. We now know that A/F presents so
many risks to babies and their mothers that the AAP has written new
guidelines, hospitals throughout the world have undertaken an initiative to
become "Baby-Friendly", and educators have come to believe it is the right of
parents to be informed of these risks. It may be difficult to hear this new
information, especially as so many of us were A/F and perhaps even most of
our friends' babies have been A/F, but you cannot possibly make the best
choice for your own families w/o awareness of these facts."
I also tell women straight out that they are not likely to succeed at bf
if their goal is simply to try to breastfeed. If the goal is to try, they
will likely accomplish that goal--they will try. I tell them the goal must be
to breastfeed--that for most women, bf is successful when it becomes an
integral part of their identity as a mother.
I also strongly promote labor support to mothers having hospital births.
I explain that when you want to teach a child not to color on the table, you
cannot tell them "don't color on the table". You need to tell them what they
can do instead, such as "Color on this paper". It is the same with birth--you
can want to avoid drugs, but if you have no one to offer you anything else,
you will likely use drugs, just as the child who is not offered paper will
likely continue to use his crayons on the table.
This may not at all be the best approach, but for me in my life, it is
the one I can live with.
Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA
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