Dear all:

Here in New York City many older mothers are pressured into undergoing fertility treatments very quickly after having a first child.  I RARELY find that the reproductive health care practitioners fully inform women about the risks of closely spaced pregnancies for a) their own health, b) the health of the fetus, and c) the health of the older child.  Since fertility treatments often have an impact on the mother's health and mood while she is undergoing the treatments, this may impact her parenting of an often very young baby or toddler.  Furthermore, it often takes several rounds before she gets pregnant again.  I have YET to hear of any mother being counseled that the optimal spacing is two years between children, which at least at the time I was doing my MHS was backed up by a huge amount of data.  Many mothers are still struggling with getting into sync with the first baby when they are pressured to wean because they are supposed to hurry up and have that second child before their old dessicated eggs dry up and wither away (as is often described by mothers who have undergone so much negative language about their age and their bodies).

Why isn't there more of a push among health care practitioners to care for that first child well since conception of that next child may not happen very quickly anyway even with all the fertility treatments? Even psychologically the adjustments are better for the entire family when there is a two year gap between children.

I find I am often the ONLY person these women have talked to that actually asks them questions about how this will influence their first child and their own health and gives them the confidence to realize that it might be OK to wait a little while to solidify the relationship with the first child before embarking on an expensive time consuming process that may result in the next child.

Sincerely,

Susan E. Burger

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