Naomi wrote:

>I think that it will be difficult and I'm not even sure it's apropriate to
>get a commitment from new mothers to nurse for at least two years.
>HOw much and certainly how long to nurse are very personal commitments
>

I agree, Naomi.

In my view, this would just discourage a lot of mothers.  Our 2-year-olds
seem like babies to us because of our own experiences of breastfeeding,  but
to people who have not shared these positive experiences or had positive
role models, toddlers seem B-I-G!  And breastfeeding is for babies, if at
all.

Even for those mothers not hooked into the sexual connotations around
feeding big children at the breast, there are concerns about privacy (it's
harder to feed an older child discreetly than a young baby), spoiling (if
the toddler is enjoying it that much, then it must be wrong!)  and about how
she will be seen by others in her peer/family/community groups.

I remember seeing my first breastfeeding baby as a young adult and being so
embarassed that I didn't know where to look (and the mother was a close
friend).  There is no way I would have made a commitment to breastfeed for 2
years (or perhaps even to start, if I thought that this involved a
commitment to feed a walking, talking child).  It took growing with my baby
and Nursing Mothers' role models to give me the confidence to feed an older
child.

I would rather suggest to a mother that she make a commitment to breastfeed
for 3-6 months.  I tell them that if they do that, they will work to get
through the early learning period which they may find difficult, and get to
the stage where they will be able to see the benefits to the baby as s/he
responds at feed-times and grows well due to the "goodies" in the milk.
After that, the breasfeeding relationship becomes so adaptable that it will
be easy to continue for as long as she and the baby are enjoying and
benefitting from it .  At this point I throw in the information that many
mothers continue to give some breastfeeds for 2 years or more.

Successful breastfeeding is IMHO a bit of a "con" job.  A mother's success
will reflect our beliefs about her capacity to breastfeed.  If a mother
believes in herself, her body's capacity to produce milk and her baby, she
will succeed.  But she should be the one to define what success actually is
for her.  We need to show our confidence in her ability to make and achieve
the right choices.  If we are going to ask for a commitment, then we should
ask her to set the goals (from a base of accurate information) and work
towards those.

We should never take responsibility for parental decision-making away from
the parents.  It's an invitation to abdicate from the parental role and
leave the care and support of children to the state, or the experts or...

Cheers, Dot (descending gracefully from her soap-box)

Dot Newbold, NMAA Counsellor
[log in to unmask]