Dear Kirsten, you learned a lot from this experience and it will help you in the future! I admire you that you were willing to apologize and be humble and learn from this. Probably most of us have had such situations as you experienced. Mom has to want the outcome as much as we do. Mom needs to feel like she is the one controlling things and has to make the decision that is right for her. When I come in the door, and mom is filling out her paperwork, while I am weighing the baby I like to assess the mouth, tongue, and face. I also give moms copies from either the Breastfeeding Answer Book or The Breastfeeding Atlas which has great pictures. Most of my mothers do nothing, well, they go to bottles when faced with this kind of thing. I have few that will actually get the frenulum clipped, even when their pedi is for it. Even when their siblings had their frenulum clipped and they know what tongue tie is from family experiences! I have worked with many of these cases and the few that have gotten it clipped have needed a time of  adjustment. Most took 2-4 weeks to recover ability to nurse properly, meaning ability to transfer the proper amount of milk. This is where a good baby scale can show mom how poorly or well her baby is doing at the breast. I am working with a baby now that is 13 weeks old and only a pound above birth weight. Can not remove more than 2 ounces at the breast at a time. Mom has more milk, but baby tires. They have been given information about tongue tie, but they have not done anything. It is difficult sometimes to be in the helper's shoes, but it helps to remember who owns the problem and who will be the one facing any issues relating to it (the parents). Plus there are no guarantees in life, we can't say that any intervention will be easy or totally solve the problem. Sometimes what seems like a textbook example turns out to be the opposite.

Kathy Eng, BSW, IBCLC





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