Riva, 

About Baby B:  A hyper-active thyroid can present by a significant delay in let-down.  
Any other symptoms such as: Hot, Anxious/Irritable, Weight Loss, Fast and/or Irregular Heart Rate?
Is lab work to screen for a post-partum thyroiditis an option? 

I'm starting to believe that when something has been going 'wrong' in a nursing relationship for a sustained period of time, some of these babies learn (or decide) to associate the entire abnormal feeding cycle (including their own early responses to the very real problem occurring) as their new 'normal' routine for a meal.  I've seen similar behaviors in my practice many times with various complications - low milk, tongue-tie, lip-tie, over-supply, etc.  It's difficult to determine exactly what a 4 or 5 month old infant is really thinking, especially when the behavior seems to be incongruent with the newly corrected situation (after mom has been doing her part).  Fortunately, they often respond (although, usually at a slower pace) to the same "courting" measures as newborns (baby-wearing, co-bathing, skin-to-skin, sleepy feedings, breast-as-dessert or breast-as-toy/pacifier suckling).  Sometimes, changing the entire nursing "routine" (times/places/positions) that they have been using can help.  But, until the baby comes to the realization that a meal can be different than the routine they have become accustomed to, the baby can seemingly repeat some of their own unique out-of-ordinary behaviors.  

This idea first dawned upon me one day when some friends and I were reminiscing about our earliest memories.  At (or about) age 32-36 months, my father was pastoring a church.  I clearly recall that my definition of 'going to church' meant that we all went into the big building with the long seats and sang songs until my daddy stood up to talk.  Then, I would wiggle and move around until mother corrected me.  Then, I did it all over again until she would take me out back and into my father's office, get the ruler out of his desk drawer, ask me to hold out my hand so that she could 'spank' my palm two or three times, and then say, "I'm telling your father about this when he gets home tonight and you are going to get another spanking from him too."  After weeks of this cycle (my parents both recall that it might have been months), I clearly remember one night when father said, "Shannon, I wish that you would not wiggle and move around so much during church so that mother would not feel like she must take you to my office to spank you and then ask me to spank you when I get home because I really don't want to do this.  Wouldn't it be easier if you just sat still and quite like she asks so that you and I don't have to do this?"  Eureka!?! It was a huge revelation!!!  I even asked, "You mean that we don't have to do that during every service?  I thought that was part of going to church because we always do it!"  Then, I remember being angry at myself and feeling embarrassed that I had not realized this simple idea sooner.  That night, father never really spanked me at all (not that I remember any of those spankings hurting very much anyway) and we all agree that the problem rapidly ended beginning during the very next church service.  

The perspective of a child can be very different than the perspective of an adult.  I can only imagine that it can be even more so when dealing with an infant's perspective on any given situation.  I'm always trying to think through the situation from my perspective, mom and family's perspective, and the baby's perspective.  Then, I strive to find the 'language' that is communicating with the baby and teach us all how to speak it that language.  For some it is touch, for others it is visual, for others it has action, for some it is nothing more than loving patience with persistence.  I sometimes tell moms, "Babies suck to survive.  Babies love to put things into their mouths.  If they can hang out with your breasts long enough, they eventually want to place them into their mouth and when they do, they may realize what a yummy-tasting toy they have just found."

If the baby is developmentally old enough that they are becoming interested in all the other people around them and the things that they are doing, seeing other babies happily breastfeed can be helpful.  Attend a LeLeche or other support group meeting, find a mother's group or play group that has some young nurslings in it, visit a breastfeeding friend, watch a breastfeeding video with baby, etc. 

Cheers,
Shannon 

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