I finally read this piece :)

I don't feel like ranting about it at all.

Yes. the authors seem to minimise the physical impact of 
breastfeeding/not breastfeeding, and seem not to be aware that 
breastfeeding/not breastfeeding/not breastfeeding for long also has 
profound psychcological, emotional and even psychiatric effects.

But.....they are right to draw attention to the fact that when 
breastfeeding (in the West ) hits problems,  women then define their 
mothering ability by their ability to breastfeed. They find 
themselves falling short of an ideal and *blaming* themselves for it.

This cannot be good for them, for their babies, for their 
relationships, for their self-esteem.....and it is especially  bad 
for breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocacy.

Because what happens when someone finally understands that *of 
*course* it is not their fault that despite expressing milk for their 
sick baby round the clock and trying cope with pain (plus in some 
cases working full time and/or looking after other children), 
breastfeeding does not work well for them....when they finally 
understand that breastfeeding can be hard and they need support, 
love, time, encouragement, practical help to do it and it's not their 
fault if not all of that is in place.....when they finally understand 
that blaming themselves is joy-draining and unfair....they then 
*blame breastfeeding* and they start blaming themselves for ever 
believing that it was ever a worthwhile thing to do.

In some social settings (not all - and this article is so unaware 
that what they are describing is far from universal, even in the US 
or the West), *not* breastfeeding is something to be personally 
ashamed of,  something it is believed others judge you for, something 
that says you are not a good mother.  The reaction against that is 
what gives us all these articles about breastfeeding nazis and so on 
:( :(

I'm afraid I  disagree with the idea we should give anyone 
'permission' not to breastfeed. If we are truly 'woman centred' we 
don't do that, any more than we give her 'permission' to  do/not do 
anything at all. Instead, we should be working towards enbling her to 
see herself as a  confident, loving, mother able to make sound 
decisions for herself.  Sometimes, mothers try to get me to agree 
that 'breastfeeding doesn't make that much difference, does it?'  or 
'I won't harm my baby if I give him formula, will I?' and I will not 
collude with this sort of thing.. I want them to make their own 
decisions and choices.

I do think there is more to mothering than breastfeeding, and I will 
share that.  Sometimes, women whose whole experience of mothering is 
already blighted by breastfeeding  actually don't even know that they 
can continue to put their baby to the breast even if there is hardly 
any milk there, even if they don't want to invest in the hours needed 
to rescue a nil milk supply.

Breastfeeding is more than 'just' the milk - we know that! We should 
share that.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, UK
-- 

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome