Here is what happened, and don't worry, there is a happy ending!

Many months ago, before a school event, my son's preschool teacher  
asked me if I would be willing to feed my baby in the school office  
if she got hungry during the event.  When I said "are you saying I  
*have* to feed her in the office?" she said "yes."  I am ashamed to  
admit that I did not stand up for my baby's right to eat at that  
time, and my baby ended up sleeping through the event anyway.  I felt  
upset and uncomfortable around that teacher for the next few months,  
but could not figure out how to approach the situation in a way that  
would leave the teacher feeling good about supporting breastfeeding;  
I was too consumed with anger over my baby's right to food and  
comfort being disrespected.

Then last week, my baby got hungry while I was dropping my son off at  
school, and I decided to feed her even though I felt very  
intimidated.  So I began to feed her.  A few moments later, in the  
presence of several teachers, kids, and my own 3-year-old, the  
Director of the preschool came over and asked me to move to the  
office.  She was standing over me and appeared insistent that I  
move.  I said that I could not move.  Then she said "why don't you  
come into the office so we can talk."  I said, "I will be happy to  
talk to you when I am done, but I physically cannot move right now."   
I think we went back and forth several times, with her insisting that  
I move and me refusing to move.

Obviously, I felt humiliated, angry, and embarrassed in front of all  
these people including my 3-year-old son, for simply feeding my baby  
when she was hungry.

When I finished feeding her, I went to the office, and the Director  
stated that there was a father who was uncomfortable with me  
breastfeeding and who had complained that he felt he could not bring  
his child in with me "doing that there."  My voice was shaking as I  
explained to her that Maryland state law upheld my baby's right to  
eat.  I asked her if a bottlefeeding mother would be asked to move,  
and she said "no."  At this point, I could see the light go off in  
her mind, and she told me that she had breastfed her own children 34  
years ago, and she would deal with this father and I would not have  
to worry about it anymore.  I thanked her, with my voice still  
shaking, and left.

The next day, I asked for a meeting with her, and I thanked her for  
the way she handled the situation.  Then I asked if she would be    
willing to communicate to all staff members that the law upholds a  
mother and baby's right to breastfeed, and she said that she had  
already done so, but that she would make it clear at the next staff  
meeting in case anyone did not hear it the first time.  She said that  
no one had been aware of this law.  I let her know that I was not  
trying to make trouble, just that I did not want another mother to  
feel humiliated for feeding her baby, and I did not want my baby to  
be denied the right to eat when hungry.  She agreed, and while I do  
not think she felt moved to become a lactivist herself, at least she  
seemed to be willing to make all staff members aware of the law so  
that this does not happen again.  Most of these staff members are  
young college students, and I would like to think that this will  
stick in their minds when they have children -- that breastfeeding is  
important enough that the law upholds a mother and baby's right to  
breastfeed everywhere.

I am immensely grateful to those people who worked so hard to help  
Maryland state law reflect the basic human right of a baby to food  
and comfort, and a mother's right to feed and comfort her baby free  
from harassment.  I also feel grateful to Rosa Parks, for her example  
of extreme courage in the face of terrible discrimination and human  
rights violations, and to Maggie Kuhn, who said "speak your mind,  
even if your voice shakes."

-----
Lynnette Hafken, MA, Mother of 3, LLLL, IBCLC
http://www.nurslings.com
“You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when  
it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”  Anne Lamott



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