Dear Lactnet Colleagues

Oh my, I guess I am on a different side of the fence with this problem.  I 
see this problem is as much about being in a new workplace as it is about 
rude, unprofessional, offensive comments.  I would be loathe to use an axe 
on what might actually be a one-off situation that deserves a feather to 
brush it aside.

Earlier today, I sent a private message to Isabella:

Dear Isabella

Walk softly.  See how much of this behaviour happens.  Work for change 
wisely.

Their behaviour reflects on them, and if you react too strongly that will 
reflect on you and you want to work with all staff – losing the others’ 
respect with a strong reaction (charge of harassment – getting supervisor 
involved) may not help your work environment.

Do not smile or add to the comments – do not try to laugh it off, as that 
will indicate acceptance and might escalate the comments.  A sharp comment 
about what his mother might think of his comments (that only he can hear) 
might set the right tone (I did it once, but it has to really fit the moment 
and person).

As you get further along, you will get a better feel for all the staff – 
then you will know who to turn to, who to avoid, and how change best 
happens.  Until you know the players, walk softly.

My 2 cents,
Joy Noel-Weiss

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