Margery
On your point about discussing our biases.  I just started speaking in different
terms to moms.  One called me the other day to say her MD/'Ped had told her not
to pick the baby up when he was crying, as that only teaches him to be dependent
on her [sarcasm here - how shameful that a baby that is 6 weeks old is still
dependent!].

In order not to come on "too" strongly, but still let her know how I felt, I
answered,
"Well, it seems we're not talking about a health issue here, but rather a
philosophy.  You need to decide which is the philosophy you want to use to raise
your child.  Your MD gave you his, now I'll give you mine...  (and I proceeded
to describe the dialog we want to create with our children, the sense of trust
we try to instill, the satisfaction we feel being able to satisfy our baby's
needs, etc.)   Each one of us has to decide which philosophy we use to raise our
children and run our families.  No one can decide for you which way is best.
You need to design your own.  I'm giving you a different one, but not
necessarily the "best" one for you."

After I was done, she thanked me, said she had mayored in Child Development, but
was beginning to doubt her education after hearing from the MD.  Now that she
had heard an opinion that seemed to dovetail better with her education, she
thought she would try it!

The good old LLLL way is still the best - "You will hear many ideas here, some
will seem useful to you, others not.  Take what feels right and leave the rest."

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, LLLL, IBCLC, RN
I am also "old"enough to be a granny - but my MIT son is still working on the
PhD, so I have to wait...
Puerto Rico
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