>Are  doctors any different than other groups of  people?  [Lawyers, auto
>mechanics, nurses, policemen, etc? ]

No, but we expect them to be!  We expect them to be knowledgable and to keep
up with all the recent research and to be compassionate and caring.

>If you want the best for your self or  your kids, then choose
>the best doctor. [Or at least find one who will listen to you]

This is not always possible, as I'm sure you know.  We are limited by what's
available in our community (and the size of our community), by who belongs
to our HMO, etc.  If I want to get chemotherapy here in town there is only
one place, with two doctors, and the one I had all the trouble with is
supposed to be the better of the two doctors there!

I did find the oncologist in Temple, Texas (1.5 hours away) to be much
better informed and also much nicer and more compassionate -- but I didn't
know anything about either doctor when I had to make my choice about local
treatment or distant treatment.  I *assumed* that both doctors would be
knowledgeable and nice.  I was wrong.  :(  Other people who have been
treated by the local doctor think he is fine, but that's because they didn't
have any of the side effects I had.

>Refusing  treatment   [with  informed consent,  of  course] is   fine for an
>adult   or older teen, but  is  different when you are refusing  for a minor
>even if it's your minor.

I guess I have to disagree -- this is a complex and complicated issue, one
that panels of medical ethicists can't even agree on.  It may be clear if
you are talking about antibiotics for a child with bacterial meningitis or
an operation for a child with an about-to-rupture appendix, but there are
many cases where it is much less clear.  Just in the field of lactation and
issues of how to deal with normal healthy newborns, it seems that many
doctors insist on mother-baby separation, deep suctioning of all babies,
immediate cutting of the cord, a bath, inappropriate treatment for jaundice,
checking for TE fistula with sugar water, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. -- all of
which we know are not good for babies.  I think parents have an especially
important and serious obligation to be informed about medical care for their
children and to be their children's advocates.  It is especially critical
that they not just "do whatever the doctor says" and *assume* that the
doctor is knowledgeable.  I don't think anyone knows what percentage of the
time the doctor is "right" and what percentage of the time the doctor is
"wrong."  Certainly, we remember more and repeat more, the stories about
times the doctor was wrong, because they go against our expectations and
stick out in our minds.  I have heard numerous stories about mothers being
told they were being neurotic and worrying too much about their baby's
development, only to find out later that there was in fact something
seriously wrong -- heart defect, mosaic Down Syndrome, cystic fibrosis, to
name only a few I can recall easily.  Our departmental secretary, who is now
65, had a daughter who was not diagnosed with cystic fibrosis until she was
11 because the doctors back then, in her community, would not take seriously
the mother's complaints.  The daughter seemed to have a very mild case as a
child, but ended up dying of her CF at age 18.  This was many years ago,
obviously.  Another friend here in town has a brain tumor that went
undiagnosed for two years because (1) the doctors refused to believe her
when she said she was having "seizures" -- how could a mere lay person, one
without even a college degree, diagnose seizures? and (2) her MRI, that she
finally got after a year of fighting her HMO, was misread and declared
"fine" when in fact, it clearly showed a large diffuse tumor.  It was not
correctly read until she insisted on a copy of it, and took it to another
doctor.  She will probably die this spring, and the tumor was inoperable, so
it's not a case of earlier diagnosis making a difference in her eventual
outcome, but she spent two years being told she was "nuts" and fighting her
HMO -- pointless pain.  And then there was the time in 1988 when I fell off
my bike and had a concussion and suffered from post-concussion syndrome, but
was told by my HMO neurologist that I was just "neurotic" and making things
up.  I was not properly diagnosed til I went outside my HMO to a
neuro-psychologist.

>If you don't want an iv or meds in labor, or   your baby bathed, or  to have
>vitamin K or  eyedrops, find  some place to give birth that doesn't do that.

That is not an option in my community.  There are two hospitals, and both do
lots of "routine" things to babies that I found objectionable.  But having
hemorrhaged nearly to death after my second child due to retained placental
fragments (thought to be from a twin to Peter who didn't develop), I was not
willing to risk a home birth, either.

>It is difficult to see how people want  just what  they want from their
>doctor and  don't  plan to accept input  from their doctor in return.

I'm quite willing to accept input from my doctor, and to take it into
consideration in making my own medical decisions.  I am not willing to just
do whatever the doctor says and hope that he is knowledgeable.  I think that
is irresponsible.

>One person's opinion is not always right no matter how strongly it is held.

Well that's certainly true!!  :)

>Cranky, sick and tired in PA

I hope you are feeling better!!  I know it is painful to hear criticism of a
group to which you belong, but not all doctors are as excellent as you are.  :(

Kathy Dettwyler

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