This is my first LACTNET post, although I have been reading it for about a
year now. I'm an RN with 20 years of OB experience, homebirthed 3 children
now ages 18, 16 and 13 (all breastfed for 15 months or more), and am an LC
sitting for the IBLCE exam this summer. I work in a small community
hospital and for our county WIC now, but have also lived and worked in urban
settings. I've had experience with breastfeeding moms as clients,
colleagues and friends for many years now, and felt I wanted to get into the
discussion re Dads and bottle feedings.
No one can argue that breastfeeding isn't THE best way of feeding and
nurturing your children.
BUT, do we really want to set the nursing mother up on this goddess-like
pedestal and say, "You are the one and the only source of TRUE sustenance
for you infant. All others who approach your infant with a liquid nutrient,
even if it came from thine own breast, should be smote down as jealous
impostors/pretenders." Shouldn't we allow for a little breathing room here,
for some reality checks?
If an emotionally and physically healthy nursing mother who is lovingly
connected with both her infant and her partner chooses to occasionally share
the act of feeding THEIR child with the father, either because of need (she
has to be gone for hours due to a job that they need as a family unit or an
emergency arises where it would be difficult to take the nursing baby with)
or because they BOTH simply want to, should they be scorned for this? I
personally don't think so. Nor do I think that by doing so it will
automatically weaken the mother/baby bond or impede nursing. (Not that the
potential isn't there...I just don't think it's a given). I speak from my
personal experience (I worked part time, as did my husband, so that we could
keep our children at home rather than sending them into child care, and at
the time my hourly wage was greater than his so it was worth it for me to
work) in that all my children nursed beautifully AND received EBM from Dad
without a hitch. I also speak from the perspective of a counselor in a
small community, who sees my Moms for years in the grocery store, and I know
this CAN work out well for all. Doesn't always, and in some instances I
would recommend against it, if maternal bonding was poor, if motivations on
Dad's part were a concern i.e.., control issues/jealousy. But if both
partners are OK with the idea, if breast feeding is otherwise going well,
why make it such a big issue? It's inflexibility and righteousness on
issues like these that can sometimes drive some people away from
breastfeeding, because they just don't feel saintly enough to live up to the
IDEAL. Sorry for the length, just had to say my piece.
Maria Hansa, RN, CLE
Baraboo, WI.
concern
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To: Recipients of LACTNET digests <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Tuesday, April 20, 1999 1:42 PM
Subject: LACTNET Digest - 20 Apr 1999 - Special issue (#1999-105)
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