Rachel says,
<<A new 'free' book for
distribution to mothers has appeared on my ward, courtesy of my very own
professional association (midwives). In this book it states that a normal
newborn spends approximately one and a half hours of each day crying>>
*****************************************************************
Well, that's better than the latest article that apparently is making the
rounds on one of the Peds Chat Lists I'm on. IT states that normal babies
normally cry a normal amount of 2 to three hours per day!!! Can you believe it?
Crying doesn't feel good. It gives you a headache, makes your nose stuffy,
your voice hoarse if you are crying outloud, makes your eyes burn, and
absolutely ruins your mascara. I can't think for a minute that other cultures
ALLOW their babies to cry for that period of time. In fact, it was pointed out
in one book (Meredith Small, Our Babies Ourselves??? or Sharon Heller, the
Gentle Touch) that American mothers deliberately do not respond to 68% of their
baby's cries. Is that perhaps why American babies cry for an average of 2 to
3 hours, and we are calling it NORMAL?
I call it outrageous. Babies don't cry to be obnoxious or manipulative, or
to teach us parents a lesson about parenting -- they cry because there is
something radically wrong, and we (as the parents) need to figure out what it
is, and help the baby deal w/ it.
If we can't figure out what is wrong, then at the very least we can hold the
baby in a sling and cuddle her and assure her that we are so very sorry she
is miserable, and when we get smarter we will know how to help her better,
but for now, all we can do is surround her with our love.
I don't believe (there's that religion again) for a minute that crying that
long is NORMAL. I think it is so COMMON that we in the U S of A have begun
to look at it as normal, and we aren't prepared to know how to deal with it,
or what to do with it, or how to teach parents how to deal with it.
Do you think babies in Chicago who are killed by their mother's boyfriends,
or mother, or babysitter were sleeping soundly in their cribs? No, they were
crying -- something was wrong -- and because the parent/whomever was
frustrated they ended up "giving the baby something to cry about" or permanently
shutting them up in frustration.
It's a really sad commentary on the state of parenting and health care
providers when we tell parents that 2 to 3 hours of crying a day is normal, suck
it up, and get over it, and if you can't stand it, put earphones on and listen
to some acid rock. And yes, by the way, don't shake your baby.
Rachel -- um -- you pressed one of my hot buttons.
This post is probably at least worth three, so I'll shut up and go away now.
Jan Barger, RN, MA, IBCLC
Wheaton IL
www.lactationeducationconsultants.com
***********************************************
To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html
|
