Dear Friends:
    Jan has some good questions about working with moms who won't or want to
stop the family bed. A difficult situation because the baby can't be
manipulated easily.
    If mom bf the baby to sleep in its own bed, then leaves, she can often
get some time in her bed alone or alone with her partner. When B wakes, then
she brings it to bed with her the rest of the night. It helps if B has a
mattress on the floor or someway that M can bf without creating a massive
disturbance when she leaves.
    Who sleeps through the night all the time? Sometimes asking the M what
sleeping through the night means can help. Or asking her if she sleeps
through the night. And talking about what babies are capable of doing to
reinforce the normalcy of what her B is doing.
    If she belongs to just one group that supports some bed-sharing, that can
often give her enough to sustain in the face of adversity. This is from a
study by Ladas in 1970, based on some work by Solomon Asch, the social
psychologist.
    Not easy, that is for sure.
Nikki Lee RN, MSN, Mother of 2, IBCLC, CSTP, CIMI
Elkins Park (a suburb of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,  northeastern USA)

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