I love Yasmin's example of food in her culture. I believe that, starting
with breastfeeding, eating for humans is both social and about love. It is
not by accident that babies nurse when they are unhappy or in pain. I have
heard advocates of scheduled feeding say that demand feeding will lead
babies to seek out food for comfort and hence develop trouble with eating
disorders. In fact, many of us would counter that the opposite is
true--babies who have bottles propped or who are trained that nursing is
only for food, and then go on to eat meals alone, or with tension, or with a
sense of being rushed, are the ones at the most risk for seeking out food to
fill the void of intimacy in their lives.

Of course, love can and is expressed in ways not involving food--which is
where the original comment about Dads came from. The reality is, mom's
comforting presence in the first few years will often include her warm
milk--that is the way it should be. Hence, the Dad probably will be the
first deep relationship for baby that does not involve food. However,
because so many mothers are coming in with feelings that food and love
should be separate, a different way of expressing the Dad's role might be
more helpful so as not to undermine breastfeeding on demand, at least in
areas where it may be misunderstood. 

Michele Call

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