Hi all,

I have been lurking on lactnet for a while and not prepared to post as am
not what I consider expert on BF. I am an RN and do see new mums and babies
as part of my clinical practice (but have only really recently begun this)
and am a militant supporter of BF (even before I clearly understood all the
benefits).

More importantly, in responding to this post, I am a proud father of 2, one
boy now 6.5 who BF until 3.5 years old then weaned and one girl 3.5 years
old still feeding.

I do not believe that Fathers need to feed to be close to their children!!!!
This is a con - fathers can do our own stuff with our children that enable
us to develop our relationship with our children as men!!

Men and women are different, as I am sure that we would all agree, I do not
need to breastfeed my babies and infants if that means that they miss out on
all the benefits of BF. I suspect that I would disagree to a certain extent
with Elizabeth Steiner on the need for EBM feeding to occur for fathers to
feel "close" to their children. Having said that as soon as they began
solids I ended up with plenty of food on my clothes.

I think that we all need to develop different ways of looking at fatherhood
and at "closeness".

This is not to say that there were not occasions that I was not conscious of
the special relationship that develops between a nursing mother and her
child but that does not necessarily mean that that relationship should
change to keep me happy. _That means that I need to deal with it and how I
feel about it_!!!!!!! One way to deal with it is to develop my own
relationship with my children. Why should I want to introduce things into my
children's lives which are only pale imitations of my partner's glorious
life giving miracles (breasts)!!!!!

From the above you may gather that the fact that my partner was and is
lactating didn't worry me too much in the sexuality stakes.

What needs to be achieved is a shift in the perception of the breast and of
femineity itself. Not a new theme.

I apologise for the length of this post but the topic is dear to my heart
and I feel I can offer input as a father, partner and nurse

Thanks for reading,

Phillip Sheard, RN, Generalist Community Nurse
Father of Alex, 6 and Elly 3 and partner to an NMAA counsellor

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