Attie responds to Susan,


> About your call from the husband who thought you were negative by saying you
> were sorry? really have their own cross to bear. you did nothing wrong. you
> even called back and got an even more negative response. I have found that
> most people who have behaved in this manner have something else going on in
> their life and you were just there at the wrong time. so that they could
> vent.
>
I completely agree -- and what's even more evident is how GUILTY these
parents feel about making the switch to formula.  Since you don't know why
they switched, you can't even begin to surmise, but I suspect it was for "all
the wrong reasons" such as "breastfeeding isn't for me (mom)" or "the breasts
are MINE" (dad), or "I want my figure back" (mom OR dad, I suppose), or
something like that.  Had it been sore nipples, or perceived or real IMS, or
anything reasonable, I suspect you wouldn't have gotten the reception you
did.  Amazing.

Whenever a mom tells me she's chosen to bottle feed (and it's always for a
mom reason, not a baby one), I have the deepest temptation to -- no, I DON'T
do it, but want to -- pick up the baby, snuggle it a minute, look into it's
eyes and say very sorrowfully, "Oh sweetie, I'm SO sorry your mommy doesn't
want to breastfeed you."

No , I don't do it, but boy, am I tempted.

There's a major difference between I don't WANT to, and I CAN'T (and
sometimes the CAN'T can be psychological as well as physiological).

Jan Barger, RN, MA, IBCLC -- Wheaton IL
Lactation Education Consultants
www.lactationeducationconsultants.com

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