Batya Davis posted:

>We would really appreciate more information on breastfeeding in large
families! Other issues we commonly
>face are over-use of pacifier, lack of breastfeeding right after the birth
because the moms are "too tired",
>and what to eat to make more milk. We also find a resistance to baby
carriers and comfortable chairs for the
>mom.

Dear Batya,

I am a mother of six sons and often help other religious, homeschooling
mothers of large families.  What I often see is  either mothers who have
adjusted, grown, adapted and are managing beautifully with many children or
mothers who are trying to raise a large family the way our mothers raised
two children: baby in crib or playpen, pacifiier use, mother does all the
housework, mother can't stop going or everything falls apart, etc.

What I have found is effective is to use the respect for tradition that most
mothers like me have.  I say, "You know, I see how my mother managed this -
she only had two children, but *I* can't get up at night and sit in a chair
to nurse this baby, I have other children to take care of in the morning.  I
guess if we're going to go back to the old ways, we may need to do things
the way our great-great-grandmothers did.  After all, I really don't think
Abraham had a separate tent for Isaac's crib, do you?"  Insert any modern
idea currently causing a question (pacifiers, pureed infant food, etc.).  It
really helps us get past the current modern fad to see what is sensible.

Also, the exhausted mothers I see are the ones who need to do a better job
training their children to help.  Helping them see this as a character issue
for their children helps - their sons and daughters will learn so many life
skills if they are expected to help keep the home going.   One other thing
that can help the post-birth exhaustion is to encourage others to bring food
(many churches here coordinate families in the congregation so that someone
brings a meal every other day for two or three weeks).  I personally fill up
my freezer, as I must bedrest with every pregnancy and am weak as a dishrag
when the babe arrives.  You can fit some 30 meals into a freezer above a
refrigerator, and about 100 in a deep freeze.  A great book is _Dinner's in
the Freezer_.

I do love being the mother of a large family - I am the richest woman I know
(and I don't mean money :-), but you have to do things a bit differently
than our culture has come to expect.

Hope that helps a little,
Melanie Young
LLLL, IBCLC
NC, USA

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