Dani,
I'm suspicious about this delayed let-down--- could it have anything to do
with a diminished milk supply?  Did this mom tell you how much milk she is
able to pump each sitting, and if that has changed much?

For getting baby to breast- of course the skin to skin contact is the best
stimulation of all!  An inferior suggestion might be for her to pump *until*
her milk comes down, then put baby to breast. From what you're describing,
the baby is on the verge of a nursing strike if not already there, probably
discouraged by low flow which may be tied to low supply.  Just getting baby
to breast when the milk IS flowing may encourage more much-needed
stimulation.

Other ideas--  maybe someone could make up some syntocinon for her?  And I'm
wondering if red raspberry leaf tea might be helpful, as it seems to affect
the ejection side of milk supply in breastfeeding.  Another specific idea is
to have someone run their knuckles her spine; remember how we used to do that
to each other as kids to make someone get the "chills"? This  sensation
causes the milk ejection reflex as well.

Lastly, I would really examine the milk supply issue as part of the let-down
problem.  I realize that these moms are resistant to frequency changes, so
maybe going the herbal route and adding fenugreek as a supplement might help
boost things a bit for her.  As far as I know, she could take fenugreek and
raspberry leaf together without problems.

Keep your chin up, Dani! Your patience and willingness to work with her
despite the obstacles she clings to will go far to persuade her that just
maybe you know what you are talking about after all.

-Lisa Marasco, BA, IBCLC