Hi,
>Should you decide to do so (or she calls you back), you might encourage her
>to bottle-feed the baby as if she were breastfeeding (always in arms,
>snuggled in, etc).  She may find a bit later that she misses breastfeeding
>more than she thought and wants to go back to it. This has happened fairly
>often with the clients I figured had also stopped.  We can never know
>exactly what makes women do what they do, though we can surmise... Remain
>open to any clues she offers and let her know that you will support
>whatever she chooses to do.

I strongly believe in giving women "permission" to give up breastfeeding
if they cannot cope with it. Paradoxically, I think it can often
encourage women to continue. I have now known 3 women who have talked to
me about weaning their baby off the breast. One had a 3mo, another an
8mo and another a 9mo.

The mother of the 3mo was suffering excrutiating pain from her left
nipple. We discussed possible reasons for it and about how to wean the
baby from the breast. In passing, I happened to mention I knew of a
woman who had nursed from one breast only. She didn't say a word, but
continued to talk about weaning. I didn't see her for 5 months, but when
I did she was still nursing - from one side only! :-) She had decided
that weaning was not really what she wanted to do afterall, and said
talking about it had made it dawn on her that weaning was permenant. She
nursed on one breast until the baby was a year old.

The mother of the 9mo was suffering from being bitten. She stormed out
of the LLL meeting I brought her to, since no one would agree with her
that weaning was the only way. I sneaked her the phone number of the NCT
breastfeeding counsellor (I thought maybe another organisation, with a
different approach might be better), told her that this BFC could help
her wean and told her it was entirely her decision. A full year later,
and this lady is *still* breastfeeding! She said she just needed someone
to tell her it was OK to stop so she felt less trapped in the situation
ie. she needed to be in control.

The mother of the 8mo did wean, but later regretted it. She is now
pregnant and is very keen on breastfeeding this new baby for "as long as
she likes" and has joined LLL. She is a strong advocate of extended
breastfeeding, would you believe? Even if you "fail" to encourage a
mother with their first baby, your support might encourage them to have
a re-think for their next baby, or to discourage others from weaning as
they did. A BFC friend says she always likes the mothers who wean to
feel they can still contact her for advice as you never know what will
happen in the future or who they will talk to. Many times, such mothers
have referred breastfeeding friends to her.
--
Anna (mummy to Emma, born 17th Jan 1995 and Alice, born 11th Sept 1996)
Email: [log in to unmask]  Web Page: http://www.ratbag.demon.co.uk/anna