I can remember two conversations. One was with an infertility specialist/ob
that told me that the only thing my client needed to breastfeed was breasts
and to want to breastfeed enough. I thought but did not say "I guess that all
these mothers who come to you with infertility just really don't want to get
pregnant." Another was with my favorite ob dr who commented that he couldn't
understand why all these mothers worked so hard at breastfeeding when they
could just bottle feed. I replyed that he had many mothers in his high risk
practice that worked very hard to get pregnant or maintain their pregnancy.
But there are not any options for them he said. He could not understand that
breastfeeding is like delivering your own baby- many women really would like
to enjoy the experience if in any way possible and if we have the knowledge
it is our responsibility to help her.
In my practice we try to imagine each mother carrying a suitcase in with her.
Even with our very complete history- we don't know every thing this mother is
carrying around as baggage. We also don't know what this woman's mental and
physical coping abilities are. I see many women who appear to be having
completely trouble free breastfeeding give it up so it does not surprise me
when a very complicated case crash and burns.
As far as women who "really want to breastfeed" - who is that? When I started
I thought it sounded like a pretty simple thing and maybe I should just give
it a try for a few weeks. No one who knew me prebaby could believe I even
tried it! I had absolutely NO idea I would even like it-let alone end up here
on lactnet. I guess my suitcase was not too full of baggage (and contained a
la leche league flyer-started meetings at 4 months), I recovered quickly from
birth, and my baby knew what to do. Many moms are not so lucky.
It is really tough to believe that each mom makes the best decision for her
family that she can -but we have to give moms that right.
Debby Kearney, IBCLC