In a message dated 96-11-13 00:02:48 EST, you write:

> To all:
>  I agree that too much is said about breastfeeding being sexual to the
point
>  of orgasm.   I would like to see ONE person who this has actually happened
>  to.
Hi All,
Okay, I wasn't goin gto chime in on this one, but Pam wanted to "See" one
person who this had actually happened to.  Well, y'all can't "see" me, but
you know who I am (that talkitive Jay, who has to get her comments in!:D)
When my first son was born, I decided to BF for a variety of reasons.  I
talked about this at length many months ago.  I will briefly recap:

I am the victim of sexual abuse (may times over). Molestation as a preteen,
rape (3 times) and relationship sexual abuse (which also included rape among
other things).  Needless to say, sex was an issue, and like many teens who
are sexually abused, it was an abnormal almost obsession with me.  The reason
I BF my first son was twofold.  First I didn't want to go back to work, I
wanted to stay home with my kid (Some might call that lazy, I was called lazy
for it!), but the biggest reason was because I thought (Inappropriately, of
course.  I was a really messed up 19 yr old) that it could be a neat sexual
thrill.  Well, true to my thoughts, the first time I put my newborn to breast
I had one hell of an orgasm!  (And I knew what an orgasm was back then!)  It
was indeed a sexual thrill!  One, however, that was never repeated.
Now, I have to agree with Kathy D.  If we lived in a culture where the breast
was not regarded as a sexual object, then things probably would have been
different.  Better yet, if we lived in a SOCIETY where sexual abuse did NOT
happen, things like this would not exist.  Then the warm fuzzy feelings we
get when nursing  our babies would be attributed to the natural mothering
instincts, and love for our children, not sexual feelings directed toward our
babies or "caused" by BF.
I am not saying that if a woman has an orgasm while BF it is because she was
abused and has an emotional issue/s to deal with.  Just that that was my
experience.
Needless to say, in the 11.5 years since my first son was born, and the 2
since my youngest was born, I have done a lot of growing, and any warm fuzzy
feelings I get whiole BF are just that.  Those "Normal" feelings of motherly
love.  (Now there are times while BF, that I really wish my hubby was home,
for "playtime", but that is related to wanting HIM, not the baby!)

Many women who have been abused are afraid of the feelings they may
experience while BF, especially if they think that they may have "sexual"
feelings during the BF.  Many of them, because of their abuse, simply cannot
put that baby to breast.  It would cause them too much emotional pain.  Heck,
it was hard enough for a lot of them to just have the baby, much less even
think about putting the baby on to their breast for suckling (which in their
minds is sucking which is equated with sex, and it is, of course, wrong to
have sex with a baby/child, so no way are they going to BF.).

There are many facets to this discussion, and sadly, the reason for this is
because of our culture.  There are many levels of the definition of "sexual
feelings".  What may be a sexual feeling for one, may not be for another.
 Also, there is a difference between sexual and sensual.  Not all that is
sexual is sensual and vice verca.

I also agree that there is too much emphasis placed on "Sexual Feelings" in
books, and that it would be more appropriate to discuss the emotions and
feelings that come with BF as normal, physiological and pshychological
responses to hormones and the love we feel for our children.  To throw in
orgasms and "sexual" feelings as possible "side effects" or "results" of BF
can be terrifying to some moms, and a real turn off (no pun intended) for
others.  Some moms won't care a bit.  What is needed is to keep the lines of
communication open so that a mom can feel comfortable asking "What if I have
sexual feelings, or an orgasm?"  Or "I heard that when you BF you will
have...."  Granted this may be easier said than done, and I know that it is
sometimes hard to strike that middle balance that pleases everyone (again no
pun intended).  But, we are a professional group of people, and I know that
we will each work out what works best for us and our clients.  I believe that
if we take the time to get to know a mom and where she is coming from, then
we can answer questions about sex and BF without "scaring" her or making her
think BF is a "sexual" thing.

Well, off my box....Air is thin up here, and pregnant ladies need to breathe!

Take care!
Jay