Hi Sharon
I would really worry about this mother using a pacifier. If a baby is not
feeding correctly then I suggest that nothing goes into its mouth except a
nipple, so would strongly suggest that she only use her finger to pacify it
until it has got its act together in the sucking dept.
If the mother in law wants to bond with the baby I would suggest she bond
with the mother first and help her to care for her baby by supporting her
with housekeeping tasks, shopping, cleaning, washing and cooking etc. There
will be plenty of time for her to care for the baby when breastfeeding has
been established.
I often get mothers in these early days who want to master everything in the
first week and explain that women in traditional societies usually don't do
anything except look after their babies for the first 6 weeks at least and
the other women in the village do everything else for the mother and her
family while she recovers from the birth and gets her mothering skills
honed. Even preparing special foods for her and that it is only in our so
called "sophisticated" lifestyle that we are expected to be super mothers.
Sorry I wil get off my soapbox now!
Jackie :-\