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Sender:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Subject:
From:
Roberta Graham <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 28 Jun 1995 02:31:36 -0600
Reply-To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
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Jay, I am as outraged as you are...what an affront!
 However I would lovingly suggest to you the following:

Better wait a couple more days until you cool down, emotionally, and can
organize your thoughts cogently and convincingly and then.....

- Change the tone of your letter and send it instead *to the local newspaper*,
   in which you
- praise the hosp. (mystery name) for the excellent, scientific and informative
  conference on BF and
- publically congratulate the hosp. admin. on their far-sightedness in promoting
  BF, and

And then, after you have thoroughly made the hospital AND its staff sound
like the BFHI & WHO code Champions of America.....you make subtle yet clear
mention (emphasis on subtle, por favor) of the irony (you might even
humorously tell part of your tale briefly here WITHOUT MENTIONING
INDIVIDUALS) and incongruousness of the fact that a nursing child was not
looked upon with benevolent eyes at such an event.

A good ending of your piece might be to say how this experience only goes
to show that we must not only change our intellectual perspective on BF,
but also our hearts. It's not a coincidence that the breasts are located
right smack dab  over our hearts. The Creator know what He was up to.

Hope these thoughts assist you in *really* taking full advantage of a very
unpleasant experience. Remember - you were dealing with personalities, more
than issues when you were kicked out of the lunchroom, etc.

One last thought - by making a public appeal in a tactful way, praising
what you *can* praise about this event, rather than just sending your angry
letter to the hosp. demanding an apology *which you will never-ever
get*....you will keep those hospital doors open to yourself, and to other
LCs to come.

When we meet personally at the end of July in Sacramento I'll tell you all
about the most prestigious private hosp. here that has literally banned me
from visiting the mothers FOR FREE. My own social service project.  It took
me months to get over the personal affront and emotional shock. It still
hurts - change comes slowly.....but sooner or later it comes. Of that I
have no doubt.

Thanks for listening. I deeply believe that most negative experiences can
be turned somehow into positive productive ones, if we'd only search for
the key.

Roberta

P.S. Yes, Lactnetters! You read correctly.....via Lactnet Janet, her LC pal
Karen and I have arranged to spend a day together when I am in their area
late July?  Is this not a miracle?  We've never met, but are already
planning our rondezvous. I can't wait!  See ya, Jay! Say hi to Karen for
me, too.

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