I of course agree that flaming has no place in our group - or any other professional group. Frankly, in society as a whole!
However, I have to admit that my exposure to so many different situations in the many years I've been on Lactnet has given me a new ability - to stay "cool" under fire, to "listen" and not necessarily respond right away, to take aside and speak (write) directly to the person rather than flaming back... As someone who would have withered and cried and left the room/facebook/group years ago, I have developed not a "thick skin" but a tolerance to people whose ideas may be different from mine.
Recently I was flamed in public after a talk I gave. I stayed cool, listened as many spoke against what I had said, finally heard one or two supporters, then the talks went on without my choosing (even though given repeated opportunities to do so) to respond. Later on in the day, I approached the "lead flamer" with a quiet voice, asking if we could talk, we did, and she heard what she had not really "heard" when I had spoken before, because she was so upset about my topic (BOTTLEfeeding to support breastfeeding).
We were able to speak civilly to each other, and she even admitted she was now realizing that I may have had a point! The next day we were "friends" while the rest of the audience was amazed!
If it had not been for my exposure to Lactnet, which gave me the opportunity to observe various options, "practice" what I would have done/said if the "flame" would have been addressed at me, I think this encounter would have had a totally different outcome.
So this may be "making lemonade out of lemons", but we can still learn from situations that make us upset, angry or uncomfortable...
Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC
Vacaville, CA
-----Original Message-----
From: Lactation Information and Discussion [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of LACTNET automatic digest system
Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2015 9:02 PM
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Subject: LACTNET Digest - 13 Jan 2015 to 14 Jan 2015 (#2015-20)
There is 1 message totaling 41 lines in this issue.
Topics of the day:
1. Change to Facebook and The Birth of a Profession
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Date: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 13:30:37 -0500
From: Dawn Kersula <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Change to Facebook and The Birth of a Profession
We were having a discussion this morning at work about tongue ties (we have Alison Hazelbaker coming soon to Vermont) and I was thinking about how we all grow and change since I'm getting ready to speak in Minneapolis with my Novice to Expert workshop.
I was discussing the much-maligned tongue tie blogpost, and noting to the MD and RNs here that pendulums swing, and we agreed we all needed to learn more before we could be ironclad in our thinking. But that's hard - whether you are the fanatic or the stick-in-the-mud!
As Jan Barger notes - the flaming can be so devastating. I think about how much our knowledge base has grown - exploded!! - and how much we are still in the infancy of our profession. So we'd best be keeping our minds and our hearts open!
I am glad to see the newer and younger LC's and want them all to be IBCLC's. And I'm glad we're still having in-depth discussions here, and that we can access the archives. I remember flaming here too -- and I think sometimes on Facebook I forget Kathleen Bruce's Best Rule: Don't Say it Here if you Don't Want it on the Front Page of the New York Times!
Musing....Dawn Kersula in Vermont
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End of LACTNET Digest - 13 Jan 2015 to 14 Jan 2015 (#2015-20)
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