I have noticed that when mothers and fathers are warned not to sleep with
their babies, for fear of dire consequences, parents who are already sleep
deprived do not hear the info about safe sleep options, or co sleeping
safety, ...they only hear that they might kill their babies, and so they
either don't sleep at all, ( I have had a mom go a week without sleep,
watching her baby sleep).. or the parents take turns watching and
sleeping...so that the infant never sleeps without a sleep "sentry."

I know that physiologically, babies do not like to be put down and do not
sleep well if their parents are far away, or not felt by baby to be near.
 This is my experience of 30 years with my own girls and with thousands of
parents I have interacted with.  Culturally, there are more and more
admonisions against sleeping with babies, ..you should sleep NEAR the baby,
but not WITH the baby (so , everyone has a device next to their bed, but if
the baby touches their skin, and people sleep, (they are, in fact, told to
do skin to skin, but NOT to sleep. How does one do that when one is
postpartum?)... they are surely going to kill their baby.  It is not a risk
versus benefit issue anymore.It is becoming a desperate issue where I live
for some moms and dads, who do not understand how they are going to make it
through the first few weeks. They are exhausted, anxious, weepy, and on the
verge of serious postpartum depression.... especially if they have a baby
who is sensitive and needs a lot of care and frequent contact, or if they
have trouble with milk supply and baby cluster feeds constantly.

I have always taught moms the safe sleep guidelines, pointed them to Dr
McKenna's pages, handed out copies of his book and other books that outline
safe sleep and the pros and cons of sleeping with babies. I know that not
everyone should sleep with their baby, and that there are other options,
which I do discuss with clients. I just wonder if those who are developing
these "policies" and "recommendations" that are supposed to be evidence
based realize that they are making an entire generation of new parents
susceptible to serious depression and anxiety from lack of ability to
figure out how to get enough sleep with these rules that fit our culture,
but not our human physiology.  When my kids were small, it was sleep on the
tummy, and that was the RULE. Now, it's back to sleep. Rules change. Babies
and moms don't. They need rest.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Please respond to the list and to me
personally. Thanks. [log in to unmask]

-- 
Kathleen B. Bruce RN, BSN,  IBCLC
Lactnet "originator" and listmom
[log in to unmask]
http://www.etsy.com/shop/HeritageWoolSamplers
Lactation Resources of Vermont, Inc.
www.kbbspin.org

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