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Subject:
From:
Ingrid Tilstra <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 3 Feb 2011 16:06:20 -0800
Content-Type:
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So ridiculous - people that abuse children will do so regardless of how many
forms they sign.  Someone who wants access to children to cause them harm
probably knows how to avoid detection, anyway.

Ingrid

-----Original Message-----
From: Lactation Information and Discussion
[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of [log in to unmask]
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2011 1:02 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Foster Care

Judy,
 
Having been raised in a family that also cared for foster children,
(although that has been many years ago now)
I can say that yes. Many, many agencies have "regulations" that
limit or attempt to limit/control many attachment behaviors.
 
My bio siblings and I shared beds (I shared with my immediately 
younger sister for years, then she shared with the sister younger  than
her). Fosters were "not allowed" to share beds.
 
If we (bio sibs) had a bad dream, we could climb into bed with Mom &  Dad 
or another sib,
the fosters could not - 
a parent/sib had to get out of bed to comfort them, and they had to 
be returned to their own bed...
 
Some agencies do not allow for cross-sex diapering, which made it  
challenging for
military families like mine was to foster male babies... as the male  
parent was often
away for days/weeks/months at a time.
 
Some agencies do not allow full frontal hugging.
 
In my opinion it boils down to the litigious US Society and poor  screening.
If agencies were able to screen appropriately,  and did not have fears  of
pedophiles or child abusers getting through the screening process,  they
would not have to cover their assess with ridiculous rules, and could
actually allow good parents to provide good parenting to at risk infants  
and children... 
 
Laura Goodwin-Wright
Mississippi
 
 
I wonder are there other attachment but not  specifically-breastfeeding  
behaviors that a fostered child is not  "allowed" to be part of as well: 
are moms 
told do not put the baby/child  skin-to-skin, or perhaps they should only 
be  bottlefed while in a  plastic seat, so they don't get body contact that 
they  might miss if  the situation changes? Perhaps thinking of it this way 
might open  the  door a tiny bit to advocate for the most loving/most 
attachment 
a   foster parent can provide, no matter how long it  lasts?

Peace,
Judy

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