----- Original Message ----- 
From: <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, October 08, 2009 6:05 AM
Subject: Re: [LACTNET] terminology

**Hi Lara,

> While there are (a very few) valid situations where the distinction  needs 
> to be made, I sometimes get the impression that there is a bit  of 
> territoriality that can be involved - a little bit of "how _dare_  she say 
> she is breastfeeding!" sneaking in.  I think this sort of  personal 
> judgement is an attitude to be guarded against, as I don't  think it is 
> productive. I am not specifically pointing the finger;  this is a general 
> impression.

**I think the problem is... many people don't know (enough/anything) about 
the immense value of the *process* of feeding at breast.
Would we say we have sex, if we meant we as women were receiving our 
spouses' semen in a little container...?
Is sex all about the product the men express and the women receive, even if 
that leads to better results than injecting bull sperms?
Highly recommended: The Oxytocine Factor (Kerstin Moberg), Touching (Ashley 
Montagu) and Why love matters (Sue Gerhardt).
The process, the process, the process... it's a relationship, not a deal. 
There's a lot more expressing going on than necessary.
I gave this image recently: if people would all be in wheelchairs forever 
after breaking a leg and not having it plastered or operated, we would all 
cry shame upon their loss of mobility due to the iatrogenic nature of their 
problems. Wheelchairs are for people with mobility problems what many 
accessories should be for breastfeeding couples: a temporary solution, until 
the *normal* is back. Wheelchairs don't need to be advertised; they are 
there for those who need them, but they are not the normal situation. They 
indicate a health problem that needs to be solved with the best of care. 
Those who need them permanently, need the best quality, but they are a 
minority, not the normal. Sometimes common, but not normal, as in *fully 
healthy with all bodily functions working the way they were meant to*.
I feel it is a crying shame that breastfeeding problems are considered so 
normal and I always chime in with Nikki when she desperately wonders what 
has gone wrong with us...

Warmly,

Marianne Vanderveen IBCLC, Netherlands 

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