The best way to reach someone who is adamant is NOT to try to change 
their mind, but help htem explore their feelings and judgements. You 
could say "I was surprised at how negative/emotional you sounded when I 
offered to help with bf. You obviously have strong feelings on the 
issue. Could you share with me what you are thinking?" Then you can use 
the Best Start 3 step counseling strategy: empathize, ask open ended 
questions, share information.

Did you ever hear Cathy Carothers tell the story of Annie, who had bf 
each of her many children for 2 weeks each, and was NOT going to bf this 
baby she was pregnant for? She was floored when Cathy told her how brave 
she was to bf again and again when it hurt so much, and how lucky her 
kids were to have her as their mother. Then Cathy was able to tell Annie 
that bf should not hurt, and that she would be happy to help her. Annie 
went on to have a comfortable, normal bf relationship with this last 
baby, and became a vocal bf supporter.

It doesn't always happen this way, but if you can get to the root of her 
misgiving, and it's not a valid concern, you have a chance. By being 
loving and empathetic no matter what she expresses, you avoid making her 
feel painted into a corner or defensive, which could consolidate her 
position AND make her need to proselytize for bottle feeding to feel 
vindicated.

Catherine Watson Genna, IBCLC  NYC

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
Mail all commands to [log in to unmask]
To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or [log in to unmask])
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet or ([log in to unmask])
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]