<Winnie said: I do feel we can and should strike
a balance between not putting down the mom who works outside the home
and letting her know that "real women do stay home and raise their
children". In fact we may be the only ones to tell her it's OK to be so
attached to your baby you can't bear the thought of leaving him/her with
someone else while you go to another job>
In my peer group, it seems like no one quits their jobs to stay home with kids. At my 10 year College of Commerce reunion, of the female graduates attending, all were either single/no kids or married w/young kids and back at work. I was the only one at home full-time. And I must admit, even I didn't have the guts to quit my job. I returned to work when my first was 9 months, but wouldn't compromise my breastfeeding or parenting (never used day-care, only family or self), until this caused my company to "get rid of me" before a year had passed. I wish more women who were ambivalent, and thus willing to gamble their jobs, would stand by their breastfeeding/parenting decisions, even if it got them fired, in order to change the workplace into more family-friendly places, either by sheer market force or through more Human Rights cases.
I am so thankful that I had my sister and father who quietly encouraged and supported me in deciding to continue to stay home with my kids. Even though neither said much to me (no lectures), I clearly knew they thought I should be home with my kids. So many others friends and family, in an effort to not get involved or to be "supportive', only repeated the common thought that "no one can survive on one income these days" or "you'll never get another job".
That is my only criticism of Canada's long maternity leaves. The longer they become, the less practical "reason" there seems to be to quit your job and take some time to be at home with your kids. Last winter I collected older women's oral stories of breastfeeding and parenting. I heard that many experienced mothers were outraged when Canada's protected maternity leaves were first legislated (late 1970's, I think). They (correctly) predicted that now women would not quit their jobs and stay home with their kids, to re-enter the job force again later, if ever.
I will be very interested to see whether the number of stay-at-home moms will increase or decrease with the new one-year maternity leaves. My more optomistic friends say that moms will have even more opportunity to "fall in love with mothering" and won't go back to work. I predict that moms will have less rational reason to quit their jobs, and returning to work to earn another one-year paid leave (after the birth of a 2nd or next child) will seem even more lucrative and logical.
Janice Reynolds
Consumer Representative, Breastfeeding Committee for Canada
(who isn't against moms working, if society would make it possible for them to do so without having to compromise their breastfeeding or parenting)
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