Tony Knox wrote:
>
> Although unless the bottle is introduced early it is less satisfying to give
> EBM via bottle as the baby will be less keen on an artificial nipple.
> Introduce early and problems are eliminated. I would advocate EBM feeds as
> being a good way for dads to bond too....
I have four children and my husband has never given them a bottle, nor has he
ever wanted to. There are a zillion ways to bond with a baby other than
feeding, and if a father really wants to, then he can come up with a few that
will work for him. My husband found that burping the baby and settling them to
sleep on his chest was a good way to bond after I had breastfed them, he also
occupies them while I cook, shower etc, he reads to them, sings to them, carries
them around, co-sleeps with them, lets them sleep on his lap while he is working
on his PC, changes nappies and massages them, bathes them and showers with
them. He only started feeding them when they were old enough for solid meals
(around 10 months) I gave him their meal and he started to feed them while I got
our dinner ready.
As far as I am concerned fathers insisting on feeding are both missing out on a
lot of fun experiences with their children and are causing much more work for
their wives. Pumping or manual expression is time consuming and difficult and
for some people it just can't be done. Not only that but all the equipment
must be cleaned and sterilised and I'll bet money that the fathers who want to
give bottles of EBM will not be volunteering to do all the cleaning up of the
necessary equipment. Mother's don't need to spend time with a pump so dad can
spend time feeding their baby, it isn't fair especially when it is so totally
and completely unnessesary.
For the record, I have *never* bathed or massaged a baby. That's has been my
husband's job and I have to admit there were many times I was jealous because
they were all having so much fun. IN fact even now as soon as my husband
starts to run a bath the three older children start to strip off to join him! I
have no desire to interfere with that wonderful caring, bonding relationship
between my husband and our children.
If a father lacks the imagination to find a way of his own to bond with the
baby, that's his problem, but he has no right to interfere with a relationship
between his baby and his baby's mother that is so important to all of them.
Gitte
Mum to Benedict 9, Melantha 6, Malachai 2 3/4 & Broderyk 1 tomorrow!
--
B Nielsen Carney @>-->-
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ICQ: 47188822
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"Never fear spoiling children by making them too happy. Happiness is
the atmosphere in which all good affections grow."
- Thomas Bray, 18th century Anglican minister
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