I know of one case where a tandem nursing mother of two older children
adopted a foreign child who was about a year old and had been living in a
hospital until he came to them.  He was severely understimulated in every
way and the only physical contact he had with his caregivers was during
feedings, which were not carried out with the goal of promoting bonding and
warm contact between him and them.
She was already lactating copiously, so that wasn't a problem.  She did
manage after a time to get him to accept the close proximity to her body
necessitated by BF, because the lure of food was irresistible to him, but he
didn't cuddle up the way her other children did.  She BF him for about a
year, and while he improved in his development, he never did get to be a
cuddly feeder.
I was very impressed by how she accepted his needs unconditionally, and how
she didn't place any contingencies on him getting her milk other than he had
to drink it from her breasts.  This was a going thing in their household, it
might not work the same way for others.
Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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