Dear Friends:
    Reading the discussion about Ruth Lawrence's position on family beds, and
dealing with parents' question about "when will my child leave the family
bed" reminds me of another version of this topic.
    I know a woman who was adamant about never having her son in bed with
her. From the time he could crawl, he would be out of the crib, moving toward
his parent's bedroom. At times they, upon the advice of their pediatrician,
would lock him in his bedroom. This was the same pediatrician that told them,
when this boy was 6 weeks old, that the baby was old enough to learn that
nights were for sleeping. They have battled  with him  all his life about
getting into their bed.
    He is now 9, and his great delight is getting in bed with his parents.
After all these years, they have surrendered to some extent. If he joins them
in bed after dawn, he can stay.
    Babies need/want to be with their parents, whether there is a family bed
or not. Having watched this boy grow up, and knowing that periodically he
goes through night terrors, I can't help but wonder if letting him sleep in
the family bed would have averted all the fighting and misery.
    Warmly,
Nikki Lee RN, MSN, Mother of 2, IBCLC, CSTP, CIMI
Elkins Park (a suburb of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,  northeastern USA)

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